Uncanny X-Men #169-170: Storm Stabs a Bitch

 Angel is kidnapped by the Morlocks! This will be the first appearance of the Morlocks (with the exception of Caliban, who was retroactively made a member), a group of mutants who are mutated in ways that make them less acceptable to the surface world, so hide in an abandoned government built nuclear shelter built under NYC.

Anyway the team heads underground in chase (minus Wolverine, who is still in Japan), and run across a few of the Morlocks. This leads to Kitty getting infected by Plague, and she gets separated from the group and is deathly ill. Caliban finds her and tries to take care of her, but can't do much about it as Plague's powers are just deadly as hell.

Dazzler #25-28: Angel Shows Up Just To Get Shot

And now, back to the madness that is Dazzler.

Dazzler #25: Dazzler deals with a creepy stalker that she lets get way too close to her because she was being a contrarian when her stage manager told her not to let random people get to close to her. Also the stalker tries to kill her dad and she barely manages to save him.

Dazzler #26: Turns out her sister has mutant powers, and she killed a random bum who was accosting her on accident when she melted his face. Oops. Also, this gets her on Gyrich's radar, and the sisters go on the run (though they are just running because of the killing the guy, they don't know government mutant hunters are after them). Oh also, Lois kills a cat.

Magik - Storm and Illyana: Taking Kitty Too Literally

Continuity Note: This happens during Uncanny X-Men #160, set from the time that Kitty lost Illyana's hands going through the portal, to the time she pulls her out.

Now we get to see what happened to Illyana during the ~7-8 years that Illyana spent in Limbo. The story starts with Old Storm teaming up with "Cat" who is an adult Kitty Pryde from Old Storm's group of X-Men and is also apparently now a Ninja, managing to get Illyana away from Belasco. But not before he could corrupt Illyana at least a bit, creating the first of five blood gems necessary for Belasco's dark masters to come to the main reality.

Marvel Graphic Novel #5: God Loves, Man Kills, Kitty Says Slurs

Continuity Note: This comic is pretty much impossible to fit into the timeline anywhere. Pretty much every place you could put it would have some bit that contradicts something else going on, but this feels like probably the best place for it.

This story introduces Reverend William Stryker, a bigoted televangelist who preaches that mutants are abominations against God, or whatever bullshit excuse he comes up with. He leads a group called the Purifiers, who stoke anti-mutant sentiment, and even directly kill mutants and string them up with signs saying "Muties" hanging on them. (Magneto finds a pair like this, you can imagine this did not go over well with him). He goes on TV after hearing back from some of his followers and hints heavily he is about to destroy the X-Men.

Uncanny X-Men #168: Professor Xavier Is A Jerk!

Ok, was there really anything else I could name this post?

Uncanny X-Men #167: Xavier Stops Brooding

The X-Men arrive at the mansion while the New Mutants watch Magnum PI (that really dates this issue, huh), and bust in the door looking for Xavier. Confused, as the X-Men are "dead" the New Mutants attack.

There is a fight, the New Mutants make a good showing but of course the X-Men win out with experience. During the fight Kitty sneaks upstairs to try to deal with the Brood Xavier, but she gets blasted down the stairs as the Brood takes him over.

New Mutants #3: Xavier Is A Dick And It Surprisingly Isn't His Fault

Dani is having creepy dreams of the bear that killed her parents (more on that bear in later issues), and wakes everyone up. Xavier determines that all is fine and that she should go back to sleep.

But Dani gets up in the middle of the night and pulls out her knife, that still has blood from when she stabbed the bear in her dream. Wait a minute. He then hears Xavier on the phone with Moira telling her that Dani is mentally ill and he might have to send her away.

New Mutants #1-2: Xavier's Baby Momma

The New Mutants have made it to the X-Mansion, and they get to know each other a bit more. Also, Dani accidentally recalls Karma's memories of the Vietnam War, and it gets a bit nasty. Stevie Hunter is there to tell them to knock it off though.

A bit later we see them all going to the Danger Room for the first time. Xavier insists that they are not meant to be a superhero team (let's see how that works out for him), but they should be able to use their powers when needed, as the world is dangerous. Each of them face the task of crossing the room. Of course it won't be that easy as there are obstacles in the way. One by one they all fail, until it is Dani's turn, and she is too scared to even try and runs away.

Marvel Graphic Novel #4: So I Started Blasting

The introduction of the majority of the New Mutants! Illyana and Xuân (Karma) had already been introduced (though Illyana doesn't join until a good bit later), but now we get to see quick vignettes of each of the others dealing with their problems.

Dazzler #17-24: Angel Is A Stalker

Dazzler is back. What dumb bullshit is she up to now?

Dazzler #17: Angel has shown up because he is bored with Candy Southern apparently and just decided he should date Dazzler cause she is hot. He harasses her, Dazzler shoots him down, then uses him to make Lawyer boyfriend jealous. Then they accidentally team up to take down Doctor Octopus. Angel is the most entitled asshole ever in this comic. Oh also, Dazzler's dad is totally spazzing out.

Uncanny X-Men #165-166: Deus Ex Ceto

The X-Men quickly deal with the whole in the side of their ship, and Binary is off to go fuck up some Brood. While this is happening and the X-Men are going through their "what next", Storm who just, fucked off and forgot to tell anyone anything is trying to figure out what to do about the Brood in her.

As it starts to wake up she lights up like a star by using the power of a nebula because sure that is how her power works I guess? It kills her and the Brood inside her... but don't worry she'll be back in a bit.

Back on the ship, the various X-Men plus Lilandra are dealing with their trauma. Wolverine, Lilandra, and Cyclops all agree that going back and killing the Queen is the right plan. Then they all sit around and brood on the days to come.

Uncanny X-Men #162-164: Wolverine vs Survivor's Guilt

We start the story in media res, with Wolverine on an alien planet, fighting to survive. He ain't feeling too hot. He's fighting brood warriors, and as he takes a tumble after one fight, we get a flashback to how he got here.

Turns out the Brood Queen was able to use illusions to make them all think they were still at the banquet, and everyone was completely fooled, except Wolverine. Logan's enhanced senses kept on cluing him in to the fact that something was just not right. Turns out, the Brood Queen wanted all the X-Men to use to create more powerful Brood. So all of them are implanted with eggs, only Wolverine, and at the last second, Kitty, seem to realize what was happening.

Uncanny X-Men #161: Xavier vs Therapy Ethics

With Xavier still in a coma, we get an issue of him working his way out of it psychically. And by that, I mean we get a flashback episode to him in his younger days visiting Israel to help an old friend at a hospital for those who were traumatized from the Holocaust.

Here he meets Magnus (Magneto before he was Magneto) who is working at the hospital helping out where he can and Gabrielle Haller. Gabrielle is catatonic from memories of her time at Dachau during WWII. Xavier uses his powers to help her awaken from it, and all three of them become close. Charles and Magnus become friends, discussing the possibility of mutants (neither admit to the other that they are ones themselves), and Charles of course, ends up in a relationship with Gabrielle, the lady he was just acting as a therapist for.

Marvel Team-Up #100, 117-118, 124: Beast's Mom Is Kind Of A Dick

Continuity Note: I'm aware these aren't QUITE in the right place, as Xavier is conscious in some of them, but it is too difficult to get the timing exactly right, and I want to group them together.

Marvel Team-Up #100: Spider-Man and the Fantastic Four team-up and deal with Karma taking control of Spider-Man to try to tackle her corrupt Uncle and twin brother to save her two younger siblings. Eventually, the FF and Spider-Man realize that Karma is not a baddy, and team up with her to save the little ones.

Marvel Team-Up #117: Spider-Man and Wolverine team up to fight Professor Power. With that dumb name you would think it would be easy. They end up both confronted by Power and his weird Roman inspired robot soldiers, and he gives them a tricky problem: They can save a town, save a prison, or find the center of the castle to find him. Wolverine wants to abandon the prison and attack him while Spidey saves the town. Spidey chooses to save the prison to force Wolverine to save the town. They both succeed, and while they were gone the castle has vamoosed.

Uncanny X-Men #160: Storm Is Also Apparently Descended From Sorcerers

We are again at Magneto's Bermuda island, and Illyana goes missing. Then Kitty follows her, and also goes missing. Then everyone else follows and then, they also go missing. They were all teleported to Limbo!

There we run into Belasco, and the whole thing of "time no make sense here" of the realm. So apparently there are two versions of the X-Men here, one version who has been here for a long time, and the version that just arrived with Illyana. Old Colossus and Wolverine have been killed. Old Storm is apparently a powerful sorceress who opposes Belasco, and Nightcrawler is now a corrupt demon thing that feels up young Kitty when she arrives (ew).

Uncanny X-Men Annual #6: This Just Sucks

This is just a rematch of X-Men vs Dracula. This time Storm felt the call and left, Kitty is being possessed by Lilith (Dracula's Daughter in Marvel) so uses her hypnotic powers to convince all the X-Men to go fight her dad. Rachel van Helsing has been corrupted by Dracula and is also a villain. Anyway this story flits from place to place as they fight and also it has something to do with a magic book that could kill Dracula, except in the end it is actually Rachel van Helsing who kills him instead having overcome his mind control at the last second.

Uncanny X-Men #159: Dracula Is A Stand-in for Claremont

While Alex and Scott spend time with their dad, the rest of the crew hit up Misty's apartment in New York. Except you know, Misty isn't home and has a roommate they have never met. They just trust her straight up and she trusts them so they hang out anyway. Weird but whatever, so Kitty and Storm go off to meet Kitty's parents, and after dropping off Kitty, Storm is attacked by something.

Uncanny X-Men #158: I Don't Think You Can Just Walk Into the Pentagon

The X-Men, still hanging out on the Bermuda triangle base, and Xavier still locked in some kind of coma, see something on TV that is concerning: Senator Robert Kelly is going all in on saying fuck mutants.

The X-Men see this as a problem, cause the X-Men originally worked with the government waaaaay waaaay back in the original run so they have files on them. So how do we fix this? Well, we just go into the Pentagon and erase all the files on the X-Men with a computer virus. Surely, there aren't hardcopies of the files. Or you know, just people who knew who they were.

Dazzler #12-16: Gratuitous Homoerotic Women's Prison Fight Scene

Dazzler #12: Dazzler vs Techsmith Part 2. Techsmith kidnaps Harry Osgood again. This time when she beats him, he is hanging over a deadly piece of machinery so Osgood pulls him up, Techsmith decides they are even now.

Uncanny X-Men #156-157: The Shi'ar Government Is The Best Joke I Could Write Here

The X-Men are rescued by the Starjammers, leaving Tigra to clean up the mess back on Earth. Colossus is treated by the Starjammers doctor, and they all shoot off to rescure Xavier and Lilandra.

They meet up with the Brood ship, an Acanti, and board fighting off the Brood and rescuing the pair, but Storm is shot into space after Deathbird gets the drop on her when Storm realized the Acanti vessel is alive. The Starjammers manage to rescue her as well, and then they all escape.

Uncanny X-Men #154-155: Random Ms. Marvel Villain Was Exiled Shi'ar Princess All Along

While the rest of the X-Men are examining Magneto's old island base, Cyclops and Storm are manning the X-Mansion. During a discussion, Scott admits he doesn't want leadership back, and is comfortable with Ororo keeping it. But we don't have time for that right now: Just then Corsair arrives, or more well, crashes into the scene, his ship shot down by the Shi'ar. He is pulled from the wreckage by the two X-Men, and he comes to consciousness with Scott examining the locket he had, which has pictures of Scott and Alex as children.

Corsair admits he is Christopher Summers, Scott's dad, and then Storm confirms it to be true. Anyway, another revelation, but we don't have time for that either. A "Sidrian Hunter" a kind of colony of flying creatures that can form together to make a starship is attacking. They get to the Blackbird and run for their lives. There is some back and forth dogfighting, and Corsair kills it by destroying some oil tanks, burning it to a cinder. Scott does not approve.

Uncanny X-Men #153: I'm Mean

While everyone is cleaning up the mess from the Sentinel attack, Kitty makes up a bedtime story for Illyana.

The story is a very cute fantasy fairy tale retelling of the Dark Phoenix Saga, with Kitty as a pirate being the main character along with her crewmate Colossus. They meet the wizard Xavier, and the blind Prince who shoots fire from his eyes. They are looking to save a missing princess named Jean who was Xavier's apprentice, and the Prince's lover, that had inherited a powerful force that corrupted her.

Marvel Fanfare #1-4: When A Problem Comes Along

Note: Marvel Fanfare was anthology book, we're only going to look at the A-stories here as they are the only X-Men related ones.

Tanya Anderssen (the lady who was in love with Lykos waaaaay back in Uncanny issue #60) apparently saw Lykos in a picture with Ka-Zar over in the Savage Land. She goes to Angel to convince him to help her find him. J. Jonah Jameson convinces Peter Parker to go along with money (reluctantly, both Peter on going, and Jameson on giving him money).

Dazzler #8-11: Dazzler Performs Cannibalism And You Won't Believe What Happens Next

Dazzler #8: Dazzler's agent Harry Osgood is attacked and later kidnapped by the Enforcers who are working for Osgood's nemesis Techmaster. Yes, she doesn't have a supervillain nemesis, but her agent does. Anyway, she manages to save him and he learned about her powers but promises to keep it a secret. At the end she gets into a car driven by some weird dude named Mr. Meeker who seems to be threatening her.

Dazzler #9: Turns out Meeker is just some government agent bringing her to a place called Project Pegasus that wants to experiment with her powers. They are pretty annoying and controlling and won't let her leave. She ends up freeing Klaw who was also there (though he was actually a prisoner, not just "invited" like she was) because she buys his act that he is innocent. She then ends up fighting him and uh, eating him with her powers (as she absorbs sound to fuel her light powers, and Klaw is literally made of sound).

Uncanny X-Men #151-152: The Most Obvious Trap Ever Devised

Our story begins with Kitty's parents pulling her from Xavier's and enrolling her in the Massachusetts Academy. A school run by Emma Frost. Surprisingly, we find out that she DIDN'T mind control them into thinking she should go there.

Anyway, she's mad, everyone else is just like "welp, what can we do?". Honestly, I think they could do a lot more, but how could we have this dumb trap go off if they did anything about it?

Uncanny X-Men Annual #5: X-Men vs. Baboo- I Mean Badoons

The Fantastic Four, minus Sue, get caught by some invisible Badoon who were after a Shi'ar scout. The last thing the scout says to Sue is to get word to Xavier.

Storm is having nightmares about the world Arkon is from. Turns out they are all related. The X-Men and Sue head to Arkon's world to find it ruled by the Badoon, who are planning to use it to invade Earth.

Bizarre Adventures #27, Dazzler #6-7, Marvel Team-Up #109, Marvel Superheroes V2 #10-11, Avengers Annual #10: The Avengers Get Put On Blast For Being Incredibly Horrid

Bizarre Adventures #27: This is actually a compilation of stories, none of them that great. They take place a bit in the past as Jean is still alive. Story 1: Jean and her sister are abducted by Attuma who wants to make mutant babies (ew), Jean saves them, Story 2: Iceman is at Dartmouth College doing the whole being a student thing, he stops a robbery during the Winter Carnival. Story 3: Nightcrawler and the Vanisher get stuck in this weird alternate universe that only has women and Nightcrawler has to get him so they can get back home.

Uncanny X-Men #150: Magneto vs The Moral Responsibility Of Having Killed A Child

We have a huge double issue! X-Men vs Magneto! Also, this one is really the defining moment that turned Magneto from stereotypical moustache twirling villain, to the more complicated character he became.

Anyway, we start with Magneto addressing all the world governments throughout the world. His ultimatum: Completely disarm and cede all power to me, or I'll destroy all of you. He then tells Cyclops that he will bring about a new age of prosperity for everyone. Admittedly mutants will be on top, and he will be on top of that, but he intends to solve world hunger, war, etc. for all.

Uncanny X-Men #149: Kitty Pryde Cannot Be Allowed To Dress Herself

Xavier has decided that Magneto must be up to something, and the team needs to investigate. So he sends them off to the under-volcano lair in the Antarctic to see if they can figure anything out.

Let's ignore that literally nothing here should have survived but yeah. Anyway, before they can leave Kitty goes to show Professor X her "new costume" she designed herself which we are going to have a fashion review for in the end of this article.

Uncanny X-Men 148: Caliban Causes Panic At the Disco

Finally, a comic that is actually pretty simple to explain! If there wasn't like, 3-4 things all going on in the background.

Our main story involves Ororo, Kitty, Stevie Hunter (Kitty's dance instructor), and Jessica Drew who happened to be in town all going to see a Dazzler concert. Caliban (the first appearance of a Morlock! Though retroactively as he was considered alone underground here) shows up with his mutant sensing powers and tries to kidnap Kitty so he won't have to be alone. There is some fighting, and they finally stop him, only to learn he is just lonely and going about it the wrong way. They were going to invite him back to the X-Mansion, but he slips away when they are distracted by the police sirens.

Spider-Woman #37-38: You Should Not Let Your Teen Niece Go Out With That Deep V

And now for something completely different. We get a short little hop and skip over to the Spider-Woman comic to see she is sneaking into Fury's office on a Helicarrier just to get a "law enforcement recommendation" for her PI license. You know, I just want to see the look on the face of whoever is approving that when they see that it is a letter from Nick Fucking Fury.

After that and some quick Jessica Drew time for Spider-Woman, she has to head out to find the source of some kind of crazy scream she is hearing. Turns out it is Juggernaut, Black Tom, and the reason this set of issues is important: Theresa Cassidy, Black Tom's niece, and Banshee's daughter that he knows nothing about, are trying to rob the US of its entire vibranium supply to ransom back.

Uncanny X-Men #145-147: Alex Summers Leans Seductively On a Control Panel

Miss Locke (Arcade's assistant) has kidnapped a bunch of X-Men loved ones, and is threatening to run them through Murderworld if they don't help her rescue Arcade from Dr. Doom.

They agree, but are using it as a two pronged assault. The current X-Men will go and rescue Arcade, while secretly, Xavier has contacted Havok, Polaris, Iceman, and Banshee to try to break into Murderworld and rescue the hostages. He tried to contact Cyclops but failed, for reasons we'll see later.

Uncanny X-Men #144: Man-Thing. I Can't Write Anything Funnier That That

Now we head off to Florida again, where the crew of the Arcadia has returned from a haul, and Lee has asked Scott to come with her while she goes to visit her father who had left word for her while she was out. Turns out he had inoperable brain cancer and had like, a year to live tops. Except, the villain D'Spayre was there and convinced him to kill himself.

Uncanny X-Men #143: Kitty Pride & A Demon vs Xavier's Property

Hey, you remember that random demon from #96 that took the entire X-Men to defeat. Well Kitty Pryde is home alone for Christmas and it's back!

She proceeds to lead it on a chase through the entire X-Mansion, including trapping it in the Danger Room and turning all the stuff on it against it, and eventually leading it into the Blackbird hangar and just firing the thrusters on it, killing it. But only after utterly wrecking the mansion.

Dazzler #1-5: Everybody Loves Dazzler

So Dazzler. I contemplated whether I wanted to even make posts about this series, but the truth is, my neuroses would not let me skip them as they are technically canon to 616. It's hard to even explain how batshit weird these comics are. They don't seem to operate on the same rules or logic as the rest of the Marvel universe. I joke that X-Men is a soap opera, but Dazzler is truly a soap opera. It is also just completely absurd, with Dazzler being loved by the entire Superhero community and facing off against foes WAY out of her league.

Uncanny X-Men #141-142: Jimmy Carter Orders War Crimes Against Mutants

Days of Future Past! The story for this one is really simple: Future Kitty Pryde, who lives in a concentration camp after the Sentinels have taken over North America, teams up with a few of the other older members of the X-Men, as well as Magneto and a mysterious young redhead telepath named Rachel to send her mind into her past self to prevent the assassination of Robert Kelly, Xavier, and Moira, which will cause the Sentinel future.

Uncanny X-Men #139-140: Wendi-Go Straight To Jail

While Kitty Pryde gets settled with the X-Men, Wolverine, taking Nightcrawler with him, goes to Canada to straighten out all the stuff regarding his retirement from the Canadian government.

At home, Ororo is taking Kitty to dance school in Salem Center (something that Kitty apparently really loved before), and getting weirdly jealous of her teacher. For someone she just met like, maybe a month or so ago, who also, you know, has real parents, Storm has turned into a super possessive mother figure for some reason.

Uncanny X-Men Annual #4: Go to Hell, Nightcrawler

It is Nightcrawler's birthday and everyone is celebrating at the mansion. One of his presents explodes in his face and he appears to be dead. Unable to figure anything else out, Xavier calls on Dr. Strange. Turns out that Kurt isn't dead, his soul is just missing.

So the X-Men plus Dr. Strange head to hell, where they find Nightcrawler go through the various circles of hell from Dante's Inferno, and end up finding out the person who abducted him is Margali, his adoptive mother. Apparently, she blames Nightcrawler for her son's death, which turned out to be true, but a situation where he did what he had to do, as Stefan was a killer and had made Kurt promise to end him if he ever became a danger to others.

Early Claremont: The Story of Phoenix

So we've reached another good breakpoint to talk a bit more about the comics as a whole, rather than just looking at individual comics.

Starting with Giant Size X-Men #1, and then going from Uncanny X-Men #94-138, which was barring a couple of exceptions, written by Chris Claremont (with Byrne as a coplotter for a bit).

There was a lot going on in these years. The introduction of the new team, the reintroduction of various villains, the expansion of lore including things like Moira and Miur Island, the Shi'ar, the Hellfire Club, Arcade... but really, this section of the comic is primarily about one thing: Jean Grey as Phoenix.